| Hrmm |
[06 Jun 2006|09:18am] |
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mood |
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blissfully ignorant |
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music |
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"Search and Destroy" - Iggy Pop |
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In my new role as Decider, I have decreed that the Playstation3 is a rip-off, and I'll be buying an X-Box 360. Laura wants me to get a Nintendo Wii, because the games are more family-friendly and cute, but unless I can kill, invade, or blockade every character and/or organization in the game, I want nothing to do with it. Driving games (burn more oil, please!), sports games (it can't be as bad as when I owned the Texas Rangers), and first-person shooters (woooo! guuuuuns!) are awesome, and so the XBox 360 it is.
I still don't have a good plan for getting us out of Iraq. I kinda like havin' my boys there, and I'm sure they like being there. It's like combining the beach and Halo 3 all into one cool experience. And the beach and Halo 3 both poll highly among males aged 18 to 35. I will ride the wave of goodwill to an approval rating of 32 percent! I have Decided!
I'm hungry. Pretzels?
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| Gas Prices |
[19 Apr 2006|08:24am] |
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Awesome! Gas is hitting $3 a gallon in some places--er, uh, I'm very, very concerned about the price of gas. It isn't good fer the economy and it isn't good fer the 'merican peeple. It's good for the Bush family and the Saud family and such, but you know, it still isn't good for the 'merican peeple. So I, uh, think that we need to keep a close eye on things to make sure that people keep filling up their Canyoneros.
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[20 Oct 2004|09:19am] |
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Alright, alright. I promised I was a "uniter, not a divider" in my campaigning in 2000. So I lied. All I've done is divide us. But I don't believe in marriage for gays, I don't believe in giving the middle class any sort of opportunity, I don't believe in children getting education, and I don't believe that anyone but the rich should have access to healthcare. It's the Democrats' fault, though, because they think that Hollywood morals are everyone's morals.
So I said that I didn't want to engage in "nation building", yet what am I doing in Iraq? Nation-building. You see, it's because he tried to kill my daddy...or, um, no wait...he helped those evildoers on 9/11...er, uh...he had WMDs? Shit. I can't come up with a good reason. I just wanted to pick a fight, is all. And who gives a shit if it alienates our allies? Only the Democrats. If they were in charge, you wouldn't get to watch all the great war coverage on FOXNews.
We Republicans are for smaller government and controlled spending! Yet during my watch the government has increased in size by roughly 30%, and the budget deficit has ballooned to record levels. But that's okay, because we'll just blame the Democrats!
So you see, Democrats are responsible for everything that's wrong. Vote Dubya in '04.
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| Drugs, WMDs, and Re-Election. |
[19 Oct 2004|09:20am] |
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Yeah, Canada better cough up some of that flu vaccine. Because no flu vaccine = biological warfare = WMDs = we invade Canadia. Because you can give us flu vaccines but you can't sell our citizenites any of the prescription drugs, because that would be unsafe for them and bad for American pharmacies.
Elect me! Only I can prevent Canadarian bio warfare!
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[05 Aug 2004|08:10am] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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So there's some wild-assed rumors going around that I am going to dump Cheney for Guliani. That's a possibility. I mean, either way, I am going to be the puppet front-man for someone who's going to be elbow-deep in my ass like a ventriloquister. I think Cheney has shorter forearms, but he's always making a fist when he gets in there, and that hurts
Not much to report here. I've kinda given up on playing the Playstation2 games I've got, and have been focusing on the Gameboy Advance SP -- I still can't believe Laura doesn't know I bought this thing! She'd be pissed! Big Daddy K-Rove says it's okay, though, something about "connecting with young voters" or some shit. So I've been playing mad amounts of Final Fantasy Tactics Advance, even though I have NO idea what's going on in the game. I've been lusting after a few new Pokemon titles, too, which would rule.
Saddam called up the other day. Wanted to know when we could end the charade with him being a prisoner and shit and when he could go off to his desert island. How many times I gotta tell the impatient motherfucker that it'll be after I get re-elected. I mean, shit, at least the brutha's not living in a rat-hole anymore.
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[26 Jul 2004|07:13am] |
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mood |
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confused |
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Sorry I haven't been posting much lately -- I've been kinda busy. See, we're having our campaign group contact churches and other non-profits, encouraging them to get their flock to work for Bush-Cheney '04. I know they could lose their tax-exempt status for performing any sort of partisan-politics work, but I don't care. I'm Dubya, dammit.
Also, that 81 Reasons (and growing) list? Is it true? Fucking-A right, it is. And I still deserve to be re-elected. I'm Dubya, dammit.
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| WELL I FUCKING RULE! |
[12 May 2004|09:47am] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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music |
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the porn music that these torture videos are set to |
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You're a Spirograph!! You're pretty tripped out,
even though you've been known to be a bit
boring at times. You manage to serve your
purpose in life while expending hardly any
effort (and are probably stoned to the gills
all the while).
What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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[29 Apr 2004|09:11am] |
So we're Dick's getting grilled by the 9/11 commission today. I'm just going to hang out and play Gameboy Advance (I bought one without telling Laura) while they talk to him. I have that Desert Storm game, but the graphics are all weak. Anyone have any better suggestions?
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| So. Fucking. Bored. |
[14 Apr 2004|02:16pm] |
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Anyone who reads this should ask me three questions. You can ask anything you want. Then, if you want to, post this in your journal allowing me and anyone else to ask you anything.
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| w00! |
[06 Apr 2004|03:17pm] |
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Americans continuate to get the jobs under my leadership. I have establishized jobs training programs so that all you former middle class techies can get retrainerated in french fry delivery management and move down the ladder to the nice lower class where you'll be out of my way and then you'll be cripplized politically when we require an income threshhold to vote.
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[25 Mar 2004|02:36pm] |
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Hey fuck you! It IS funny that I can't find the weapons! So a few poor people died, so what? They were mostly Iraqis...and the American ones don't matter either. Because we're bringing back the draft in 2005! I gotta make sure that there's economic means of getting out of it, though.
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[12 Nov 2003|10:53am] |
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mood |
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confused |
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So I went on a HUGE bender this weekend. I have the worst fucking hangover -- my eyes feel like two little boulders sitting inside my skull. How do the twins do this every night? Laura's gonna be pissed.
Anyone else party their asses off this weekend?
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[21 Oct 2003|02:42pm] |
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mood |
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confused |
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I got a new cellphone this week. I set the ringtone to "We Are the Champions"... I'm doing it to inspire the troops in Iraq.
C'mon you guys, when I was in 'Nam, it was ten times more difficult and my morale was high. You can do it!
Yeah, back in 'Nam, those were the days.
Shut up, I was too there.
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| "Yee-Haw!" is a foreign policy! It's mine! |
[25 Sep 2003|01:24pm] |
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mood |
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confused |
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That's right, Iran. Bring it on, you pussies! After you, and North Korea, I think we're going to have to point the finger at someone in the Western Hemisphere. Cuba! Yeah, we don't have a puppet government there! You hear that, fuckers? You're next! Bring it on!
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| I. Am. So. Fucking. Cool. |
[11 Aug 2003|08:57am] |
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mood |
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confused |
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music |
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"Bu$hleaguer" - Pearl Jam |
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I have my own action figure. Take that, Gore, you whiny little bitch. You got nothing on Dubya! Pearl Jam even wrote a song about me! I so own your lame ass!
I'm part of the Elite AWOL Force! Now all I need is my own flight simulator for the GameCube. For the first five years, you avoid going to drill or getting deployed, by not showing up -- you just sit around and snort coke all day. Twenty years later, you get to land a plane on a carrier as part of a publicity stunt.
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